Busy Busy Busy

Well Friday was my last day at my old job. It was kinda sad but only two people really bothered me to say good bye to one of them was the lady that taught me how to knit and the other was the boss that I worked with closely every day. Pam had made me a cake and had everyone sign a card for me on Monday when I was out. She also gave me a gift card for AC Moore my favorite craft store. That night a bunch of us well about 6 went out for beer and happy hour. I'm glad my buddy Mark came with us and drove me home. He was staying over anyways cuz Saturday was opening day for hunting season.
Saturday morning we set out at 5 am drove all the way to Windham about 30 minutes to get in the woods early. Mark asked Ray 3 times if he had everything yup got it all. We get to Windham and forgot one thing Bullets gee honey are we gonna throw the guns at the deer. So we drop Mark off and head home. Get the bullets and drive all the way back, (still forgot the camera) I guess we got in the stand early enough cuz Ray got a 107 lb doe. I know some people don't like hunting BUT we eat everything we shoot. Unless its food we don't hunt it. So went we got home Ray brought it to the butcher shop, we sometimes cut them up ourselves but this time I wanted good roast and sausage we will pay to have it processed.
Yesterday I had a table at the craft fair. I sold 3 lamps and 2 purses that's it. I was bummed I think I am going to try and put the night lights on eBay and see what happens. Try one and go from there. I hate paying a table fee and sitting there all day when it was beautiful and not making any money. I already spent what I made. After the show I went to old navy and bought myself a new pair of pants and shirt to wear for my first day at my new job. I am nervous but not I know its the right thing to do but its still kinda scary. You never know maybe I'll make a friend over there. From what I saw tho I think I will be the youngest one there, again. Oh well I got to go so I'm not late I have to drop Michael off at daycare before I go in, My mom isn't bringing him anymore she starts a new job next week herself a lot closer to home. I went from 50 miles a day to 14 she is going for 30 to 3. (Kat she is working the college on pool rd where we used to go to the docs remember.)
Ok nerves are setting in got to go. Wish me luck.

I got Presents

I got presents today from my secret pal I love presents. There was some cool yarn that will be mittens maybe and then I think I am going to try making my first pair of socks with the self striping yarn, after I finish Katy's sweater.I have a question why do they make some soaps so cool looking that you dont want to use them but they smell so good that you just want to rub them all over you. I also got some chocolate from Italy. She just came back from there, I so want to travel someday I'm afraid that once I open the chocolate I wont stop till its all gone. I'll take some pictures tomorrow of everything that will be my excuse to not open the chocolate tonight till I take its picture. So secret Pal thank you very much this made my day.

dont forget Mainers only two more days till hunting season and four days till I start my new job I cant wait.

Good news bad news

Well the good news I didn't suffer for two days not eating for nothing. I went in for the test today but the bad news he found what it was. I was diagnosed with Crohns Disease. There is no know cure but at least I have an answer and I wasn't imagining it. He put me on two different scripts. One is once a day the other is 4 times a day. Something about my white blood cells here is a quote

With a sufferer of Crohns Disease their immune system wrongfully declares war on healthy bacteria, food, and other materials located in the intestine, confusing healthy matter for foreign unhealthy invading matter. The body's response is to send backup support, which is in the form of white blood cells into the lining of the intestine, which results in chronic inflammation

Rite aid just called figures one of the meds they are having a hard time getting. The manufacture will only send out 30 day supplies per person, per pharmacy. So it will be in within 2-3 days. I have to go back to the doc within 2 weeks no matter what cuz he wants to check my white blood count. I cant get out of it but he did say to call and request that I get the last appointment of the day which is usually 4:45 So hopefully my new boss will understand I hate to ask on my first week there but I think he would understand. I start next Monday I cant wait. I was thinking when I find out how long my lunch break is I might be able to make it to the docs get blood drawn and get back within 45 min so if I have an hour lunch I should be ok to do this. I hope.
Ok they drugged me pretty good and my throat is killing me I just ate my fill and I'm going to take a nap. See ya.

I cant believe I haven't posted all week. Its been a crazy week. Monday I had to go to a consult with a doctor a new one this one about a completely different problem.
let me tell you about the rest of the week first so if you don't want to continue you don't have to. Wish I knew how to do one of those drop down things oh well. So Monday was the doc, Tuesday was a boring day at work. Wednesday my boss being a hunter himself let me come in late for work so I could get a morning of bowhunting in before rifle season starts next Saturday(didn't see anything). Thursday and Friday kind of like a punishment for letting me out hunting he sent me to another division of the company one that has a wopping 5 maybe 10 customers ALL day. I got a shitload of knitting done. The sweater I'm making for katy so far has a back two front halves and a quarter of the sleeves done. All that since last Sunday a record for me. I sooo cant wait for this new job to start, not that I don't mind knitting at work and getting paid for it but man I want to use my brain for a change. Nothing like coming home from work tired from not doing anything all day. Tomorrow I have to work my last Saturday hopefully ever then we are going to chuck e. cheese for a birthday party for one of Michaels little buddy's. Sunday guess what its going to rain again so maybe I'll finish the sweater. Once I get it done and put together I am going to mail it to MIL it has a crochet band all the way around and I haven't learned how to do it yet. (she did sell the spinning wheel without letting me try it) But she said she would do this part of the sweater for me I hope she doesn't change her mind.

Ok this is kinda disgusting docor stuff but its my blog and I can post whatever I want right. For about 3 months I have been having a problem. After every meal within 2 hours I have to go to the bathroom and its not pee. Like it just runs right thru me and that no exaggeration. It was tolerable till it starting waking me up 2 or 3 times a night. Then it started getting so bad that I don't want to go out to eat or eat with friends cuz I wont make it home without having to go. I had talked to the obgyn when I went to him for the cervix thing and he said talk to my primary So I finally got in with him. He sent me to a specialist in Gastroenterology. That is who I saw on Monday. So now he got me in this coming Monday for a Colonoscopy I hear the prep is worse than the procedure. I cant have anything solid Sunday or Monday my appt is at 1:30 Monday all juice and jelly for 2 days I'm gonna be starving. Then I have to take some stuff Sunday night that is gonna make me poop my brains out. They are going in both ways Ray asked if they were going to meet in the middle I'm like yuck honey. I am going to be kinda put to sleep liquid vallium to relax me. I hear that is good stuff. They wanted me to go back in on Nov 7 for a follow up but I told the nurse I cant because of the new job the nurse was cool, She said to tell him and he could probably just call me with the results. ok no more gory details. I'll let you know if I survive on Monday. I'm not working before the appointment or after. hopefully I feel well enough to go in on Tuesday I want to really say good-bye to alot of my good friends/customers. Ok I think I made up for not posting all week SEE YA

I like what Dan sent me better than what the actual quiz said.

You Are 80% Boyish and 20% Girlish
You have a tough exterior - and usually a tough interior to match it.
You're no nonsense, logical, and very assertive.
Sometimes you can't understand women at all, even if you're a woman yourself.
You see things rationally, and don't like to let your emotions get the best of you.

thanks Dan that sooo fits me.
As for the weekend it has been completely uneventful did some laundry and knit the back of Katy's sweater that is the most knitting I have ever done in one day. My hands are all crampy so I'm going to read a new book I got for the rest of the night.

Everyone else was taking this test so I just had to too. I guess I always knew how much of a tomboy I was ;)

You Are 70% Boyish and 30% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes. You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them. You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

I'm still really excited about the new job so much I dont even want to go to this just anymore but if I dont stick it out they dont have to pay me for my vaca time I have already earned.
Its going to rain all weekend so we have nothing planned maybe rent a movie on movies on demand. I bought some yarn last night to start a sweater for katy so I might work on that this weekend. Its my second sweater I hope it comes out good I wont have Pam at work to help me like last time.
The boys will be home from dance in a few minutes so have a good weekend everyone.

I'm so EXCITED

I am so excited I got the call this morning about 10 am. I went for that second interview last Thursday and he had said he would get in touch with me some time this week. He called today I GOT THE JOB. I don't want to say where but it is mon -fri 7-5 OT after 8 hours so an hour a day at ot. The benefits are about the same a week but the out of pocket is less per year.There is no wait period for insurance it goes into effect the day you start so I wont have to cobra mine that is such a relief especially with 2 kids. I went and talked to my bosses and gave them my notice I will be done there on Oct 28 and start the new job on Oct 31st. I cant believe its really happening. Oh my god I'm nervous and excited all at once. I called Ray he was really happy too the best part of this job is NO MORE Saturdays. hee hee can you tell I'm happy.
My mom invited me over for dinner tonight to celebrate she is making haddock and stuffing so I don't have to cook even. I'll be around tonight thanks for sticking with me thru the last couple of weeks. But today makes up for it. its a good day :)

I'm still here

Been a really busy week kinda. I went for a second interview for the job I applied for on Thursday. Then Friday my guys went away they headed up north to visit MIL for the weekend Michael has mon,tues off from school so Ray took them off as well so they could go bird hunting a couple of extra day.
Katy my dads girlfriend called me at work Friday and said she wanted to go out and get drunk so I took her out and man did she drink. She is from Texas and her accent gets really obvious with a few drinks. I had to bring her home at 9, she was hooting and hollering it was really funny.
Saturday I had to work. Then I sat around and watched stupid Saturday afternoon movies.I wanted to go hunting but it has been raining here since Friday. I took a hot shower and was hunger. So for the first time ever I went out to dinner in a real restaurant by myself. I felt like everyone was watching me it was kinda creepy but I did it. Then I went to see my friend Lou at the bar and had a cup of tea with her after a big meal I just didn't feel like drinking.
Today I got up and it was still poring. My mom was going to go to the fair with me today but she has water in her basement so she couldn't go. So I took off around 9 and headed up by myself. I walked all around they have a new building that is all spinning and knitting vendors. I talked to a lady for awhile about spinning wheels she has a shop about an hour north of me that I will probably be going to when I'm ready to buy one. Then I looked at angora rabbits that's what I want to do get a couple of rabbits and spin their fur.
Then I ran into the one person in this world that used to give me nightmares. My ex husband not my daughters father he is cool but the man I had married after him and before Ray. He is an abuser of the worse kind he is very mentally abusive. He would belittle and humiliated me all the time. After 3 years he escalated to the physical side. I knew he would be working the fair he comes up every year from NY to work here, I just didn't know how I would feel about it. And you know what I felt nothing for the first time ever. No fear, no love, no regrets, nothing it was like running into an old friend from high school. Its weird to describe after being with him for 5 years it was like they never happened. Like a big gap in my life. He did look like shit maybe that helped, or the fact that he works at a hotel and is proud of it. He has no car still walks everywhere and still drinks and does drugs. The first words out of his mouth were Shelly Belly how are you, do you miss me yet. That was the name he used to call me to remind me I was fat and nobody but him would ever want me. He was so wrong I found love and he made me realize how good I have it with Ray and how much I do love Ray.
When I left the fair I did a few groceries, came home and just talked to my hubby and son on the phone. When I hung up I cried cuz I just love them so much and today to me was a reminder of just how much.
I should hear about the job some time this week please cross your fingers for me ok.

long sad post

I have something that has been bothering me for awhile that I havent felt like writing about but now I feel I have to get it out or I'm going to explode.
I have been sad for awhile about stuff. I shouldnt complain I have a good life, I love my husband and children, I have a roof over my head and a job that pays the bills Kinda.
But something is missing I really dont have many friends, I mean I do but not that live here. I have nobody to do things with and no real shoulder to cry on if I need it. I do have my friend lou but she is the kind of friend that never wants to go out and do anything. She works, lays around the house and reads better homes and gardens. and she is not very dependable, she will say she will do something but never show up. But she is just being Lou and I accept her for the way she is and I still love her.
Now if you have been reading my blog for awhile you'll remember when I first started writing my dad had a really cool girlfriend from Texas well they had some problems about a year or so ago and she moved away. Two months ago she came back he went out there and drove her here with all her stuff. Now last thursday I find out that he all of a sudden doesnt think it will work for them and he wants her to go away. She had become my friend, we did crafts together talked every day,she was the only one in my family to know about the cervical stuff I went thru, were going to the craft fair together, and since they have been back together I have seen my dad more than I did the entire time that she was gone. When I found she was leaving it ripped my heart apart. Another friend was going away. Its like I"m not allowed to have a friend. I cried so much last Thursday that my eyes were all puffy friday when I got to work. Luckily I had a cold so I blamed it on that. I stopped my dad the other night and pretty much told him he is a loser. That he shouldnt have brought her back if he wasnt sure. Michael loves her so much and calls her nana, I told him dont ever introduce Michael to another woman later and expect him to just accept her like he did with katy. Katy is his nana and he is not going to understand why she is gone. I told dad I am not going to keep breaking this little kids heart or my own. That he didnt understand by what he is doing to them also affects my family. I was mean but I told him exactly how I felt. That he moved back to Maine from Idaho cuz he missed Jamie growing up and he wanted to be around Michael. But that is exactly what he doesnt do. Without nana we never see him. She keeps us grounded as a family.
So after all of this I am really upset, So I call my mom and she actually says I dont understand why you are so upset its his life. I only called her for someone to listen and I couldnt even get that. She told me to leave it alone and to tell dad I'm upset that he doesnt spend time with us not about katy. Mom just doesnt get the fact that Katy is my friend not just dads girlfriend.
So lately I cant help but feel sorry for myself I thought that going to Boston alone I might teach myself that I can do things alone and still have a good time. I think all it did was get me more depressed that I am alone. I saw all these woman with there friends laughing and talking and I sat alone. I had to keep fighting off tears.
I know it will be ok but it seams like everything I try backfires. I tried to go to a knit and sip at a coffee house that I saw advertised and they weren't open no sign about a cancellation nothing. Then I wanted to take a spinning class to meet new people and MIL took the spinning wheel away. I am lucky that Ray is so supportive he rubbed my back when I was crying and encourages me to try stuff and I want to but I am at the point that I just want to give up trying. Stay in my safe little world and accept that this is my boring life.

There are other things too that make me sad but this post is long enough and if you've made it this far you are probably pretty bored so I'll end here. Later.

what a weekend

First we had Michaels party on Saturday. We had bought pumpkins for all the kids to decorate here is a picture of some of the kids. Now remember I fed all these kids plus about 5 more and all their parents. Then we had cake, presents, and a pinata. I planned it just right the party started at 4 and by 6 it was getting a little dark and the temp started dropping so they all started to drop like flies we were all tired by the end but the amazing part 18 kids and not one argument or fight about anything talk about a miracle.


On sunday I did go to boston I had a great time I was all alone but I met alot of new people learned some new stuff and walked alot. My hips and leg muscles are wicked tight. I took the train down and then the T over to the common. They were still setting up when I got there. So I walked down to Quincy Market its a neat little shopping area I hung out for awhile watching the street performers then walked back to the common for the knit fest. I only took a couple of pictures cuz I was so busy listening to the speakers and watching the demonstrations. I really picked up alot of new ways to do things.
I even tried spinning and it was so cool. MIL has a spinning wheel and she said she might sell it so I asked her if I could try it out. We even talked about getting a couple of rabbits. While at the show I tried spinning in a demo and was really excited till I got home and MIL had left for up north and guess what she took the wheel. Probably on ebay already I begged Ray to call her today and see if it was. Not much I can do about it I dont know if she didnt believe me or not.. I really dont know what to think about it all sometimes..

So all in all it was a good weekend hope yours was just as good.