its only Thursday and I'm having a great week!!! the rash cream seems to be working it burned like hell the first couple of times I put it on now its not so bad. the soars are drying up and the scales are leaving, my hair isnt growing yet but I'm being impatient I want my hair back.
Tuesday night I went to the Portland Fiber Gallery Melody is teaching me how to crochet remember the sampler square afgan I have on my ufo list well it has crochet edges and she helped me figure out how to at least do that.

Wednesday Michael started 1st grade look at how much my little guy has grown in one year the first picture is of kindergarden and now first grade. He was nervous getting on the bus but said the rest of the day was ok.


















Wednesday night I went to see my friend Lori. We sat around her pool and had a couple of coctails. It was a nice girls night out I think I really needed that alot. When I got home there was a card that I had a box at the post office, I tell you even though it was midnight if they had been open I would have went to get it. I figured it was my from my secret pal and all my other packages have been great so I knew this one would be too. I had to fill out all Michaels school papers before bed I was sum tired this morning.

I wanted my box so bad that I called my dads girlfriend Kati and asked her if she could go pick it up for me. Let me tell you I'm glad I did and so was Michael. Tammy you are a sneak, you see everyone Tammy was the hostess for my SP7 group and we emailed back and forth alot. She has been a great support for me and she was sneaky she would send some replys as my secret pal and some as herself, and I have her on my blog roll.

Tammy, Michael was soooo excited about the game I am going to install it after supper for him.
While it installs I will be reading my big girl knits book. That book was on my amazon favorites forever. I kept saying I have to get that and then something would come up.
Know what the best part of SP8 has been for me is that Tammy got to know me, not just as a secret pal but as a friend so thank you Tammy for absolutly everything..
My pal got her present she emailed me that she liked it so I at least know she got it. I will definately be doing SP9 This round had been great Have I said thank you Tammy.
Here are a couple more pictures, Michael with his game and of all my presents and that not counting the other stuff she sent before havent I been lucky.

I found a Doctor!!!!!
I was fed up all weekend I dont want to leave my house unless I absolutly have to. So this morning I printed off a list of dermatologist from my insurance company and crossed off all the docs in that practice that said oct was the earliest they could get me in. I found a doctor in Portland he is an md and and dermatologist and he had a cancellation at 2:3o TODAY!!!!
I took it. Ray is home today because it is his birthday so when he gets off the boat from fishing he is going to bring me some shorts and sneakers and my truck, he had to use it to hall the boat. I cant wait I'm so excited I know it will take awhile to grow the hair back but to just get some answers and something to stop the itch my legs are so raw that pants hurt.
I'll post tonight when I get home and let you know what happens.

UPDATE: @ 5:30
I went to the doc he confirmed it is phoriasis and an odd case he thinks its reacting to the remicade is a weird way especially since remicade is used to treat phoriasis in some people. he gave me 3 different meds one is a foam to put on my head twice a day, one is a really strong hydrocotizone cream for the sores and an antihistamine (sp) to take before bed for the itching. he wants to see me back in two weeks and said if it isnt better he will biopsy one of the sores. He was really nice he said let me ask you is the remicade helping with the crohns I told him yes it is so he said ok we are going to find a way to make the psoriasis better without taking you off the remicade then. which I thought was really considerate of him. I swear I was in and out of there in 15 minutes. And that other place couldnt do the same thing until Oct who are they kidding anyways. I feel so much better now I mean I'm still bald in placesand all itchy and scaly all over but I seam to have found a doc that gives a shit. So that is my news thank you everyone for your support I have been a wreck the last couple of weeks I'm sure it showed so thanks for sticking with me.
oh one other thing he told me if I can take a couple of days off from work and get some sun, it seems sunlight and uv light is one of the best cures for phoriasis. I cant take time off but I will try to find a tanning bed place close to work I get an hour might as well try it. but who would have ever thought a dermatologist would say get some sun not stay out of it. So I guess he is less worried about skin cancer than he is about the phoriasis.

Update
Doc is off on Mondays
Called Tuesday left voice mail around 10am
Called Wednesday at 9:30
Called today at 11.
Still no call back do these nurses not understand that I'm losing my f***en hair, and the welts on my legs HURT and I sit all day so its not very comfy. I'm not even trying to get in to see him just give me a list of dermatologist and I'll call to see if they take my insurance. I've had enough.
oh and the doc is off on Friday
I don't blame him and I usually like his staff but this is ridiculous. Even a call back to say I'm working on it Something. If I don't get a call back by tomorrow I'm just going to grab a phone book and start calling. Screw it. I don't want to get in next month I want to get in next week before I'm bald. Everyone at work will be back from vaca so I can go any day.
I guess this is why I always make a point to call customers back and tell them if we are delayed or to just say I got your message and will call back when I get an answer. For the amount that the doc charges you would think customer courtesy would be a big thing.
Sorry for the vent I 'm not sleeping good right now and I'm tired and agrivated.
I'll let you know when and if they call back or if I find someone on my own.

update 3:45
I got a call your not gonna believe this shit they cant get me in to the dermatologist until OCT 2, they can have me see the nurse practitioner at my docs office this monday at 1. Alot of good that is going to do my doc has looked at it a couple of times but its not his specialty so thats why he wants me to see a derm. I called the dermatologist myself and told them if you have any cancellations in either of their offices please call me I'm gonna be bald by october. I am still at work or I would be sitting here crying my eyes out. ok got to go before I do.

First the good part of the post we had a great day at funtown. We got there at 10 when they opened and didn't leave till 5 I think we were all tired here is a picture of meme and Michael on the antique car ride.















now the bad. Is there a doctor in the house. For those of you that dont know I have crohns which is a mostly intestional problem but can effect other areas of the body. Well starting a few weeks ago I developed a rash on my hands, head and legs. Remember last week I went to the doc to have him check it out before I went in for my crohns treatment of remicade. Well he thought is was phoriasis on my legs and head and egsima on my hands. He was also hoping that the remicade would help because it has been known to help in extream cases of phoriasis. Well it didnt help me if anything I'm getting worse. Remember last febuary and the two years before
I donated 10 and 14 inches of hair to locks of love well this year I am going to need them to donate it back. My hair is falling out and I mean out. I have this crust on my head and as the crust comes off so does my hair like 20-30 strands at a time. it has spread all over along my hairline its discusting and embarrissing I wore a hat all day and on the rides that I had to take it off on I felt really self conscious one kid asked to you have poison ivy, got to love kids. The rash on my legs is spreading also Ray says I have developed about 20 new spots just today they are like crusty welts that itch. I now have some starting on the back of my shoulders too. I have included some pictures the first is a picture of the backs of my legs. The second is of my forehead it doesnt do justice to how much is falling out but you can see the redness on the hairline and my cheeks and the third is of the hair that just fell out yesterday. I know gross why did you save it, to bring with me to the docs if I can get in after work one night this week. I have slash had really thick hair this is how much is coming out daily at this rate I'll be wearing do rags on my head by the end of the week. I want to know is the meds causing this or the crohns. I took a bath in aveno oatmeal shit tonight and it didnt help at all. Wish me luck does anyone have any good head coving ideas I cant wear baseball hats to work all week.
Tomorrow its gonna rain which is fine by me I really have no desire to go out in public looking like this I feel like everyone can see and is staring at me I hate it more that anyone will every know. Well maybe Kat after wearing that brace for all those months. at any rate I have no desire to go out. So drop me a line I'll be home.

our weekend

Friday night we went to see the Wall what a site. Its only a smaller replica but man is it impressive. Below are a few pictures we took there. the second one is Michael with my stepdad Roland. Roland retired from the air force after 20 years, he has some friends on the wall but said he couldnt remember their names so we couldnt find them. My mom had lost some friends from high school she was in tears walking around. I have to say I was glad we went.




my meme and I went to the craft fair Saturday Michael got bored quick but it was good to get meme out of the house. This weekend we are going to Funtown, meme got some free tickets because she has worked there for 10 years and school starts on the 30th we have been trying to go all summer, Summer just goes by so fast that we had to really plan to go this week.
Tonight we are going to a seadogs game Ray got tickets at work all these things to do and free how can I complain about that. Free is good. After the game we are bringing Michael to sleep at memes so he doesnt have to get up so early tomorrow. If he was to come home with us he would be going to bed at 11 and getting up at 6 that does not make for a happy kid or mommy in the morning.
lets see Wednesday is tae kwon do and while I'm there Ray and Mark are going to switch the boat trailers around I hope. Thurdsay I'm gonna go visit the girls and sit around spinning and having some wine. Friday mmm dont know yet wow thats a first.
I have been visiting everyones blogs I'm just not commenting much work is kinda crazy so I only have time for quick read-bys.
got to go later.

pre weekend update

Lets see tonight we are going to a bbq at my moms all of my aunts and uncle will be there kinda impromptu party just to say hi.
Tomorrow after work we are taking Michael to visit the Vietnam war memorial the small traveling one its in Maine for the weekend he is very into military stuff and asked to see it can you believe he is only 5.
Saturday we are going to a big craft fair in Cumberland its one of the biggest craft fairs in the state that’s not part of a full fair just crafters from Maine.
Sunday I think we are going out on the boat weather permitting that is. Ray wants to spend the day relaxing but he’s in for it we must get some stuff done around the house whether he wants to or not. Lucky guy isn’t he. Hey I’m compromising half a day doing each that’s fair isn’t it.
That it for the before weekend update.

The rest of this is a very girly post so guys if you want to bail I’d understand.

Have I said just how wonderful things have been lately. Have I well I must be one of the most screwed up people around I tell ya if its not one thing its another. A couple of weeks ago I went for a pap my third since getting the cryro (freezing) thing done the first two came back clear and this was the last if it was clean I went back on a once a year schedule. Ok let me jump around a little when I was done getting my pap I asked the doc about this rash I have. I had it checked out just after the 4th and the phy assistant gave me antibiotics well those damn things gave me a yeast infection but of course so I bought the rite aid one shot stuff and called it good. But the antis didn’t get rid of the rash so I asked him about it then. He said it looked like egzima on my hands and phoriasis on my scalp great just what I needed right he gave me some shampoo to try for my scalp and some hand lotion.
Well this week I developed red welts on my legs and they were hard and itchy. I had a remicade treatment scheduled for yesterday so I was kinda freeked. I didn’t want to get to the hospital for my treatment and have them say they couldn’t do it because of the rash and get my schedule messed up and have to start treatments over. So I called the doc and said listen I really need to have this checked and they squeezed me in just before my other appointment. He said on my legs I also have a type of phoriasis and also its getting pretty bad on my head. My hands are starting to get a little better. He decided to give two scripts but told me to wait a week before filling them. He wasn’t sure if the rashes were caused by the remicade or would be cured by it. I guess that remicade is prescribed to some people for bad cases of phoriasis and it might just be the answer to it. So if they are not better by next week I have to get the scripts filled and if that didn’t work I would need to see a dermatologist. He did check my last blood labs and the liver test look ok so that’s not causing any problems.
Well now lets add insult to injury I had to ask so how was the pap anyways. It wasn’t in my chart so he went out and looked for it. And when he came back he wasn’t looking chipper. He said its abnormal again. Not as bad as it was before my cryro but its not perfect and we are not going to panic yet. Since I had a yeast infection it might have made the numbers a little off. So no waiting a year for another pap now I get to go back in three months. Just what every girl wants more time in the stirrups.
So that is my girly post interesting isn’t it. But I just say the poops aren’t as bad as before remicade so that is one plus.

Talk to ya all later.

things are getting better

Things are slowly returning to normal. We went down on Tuesday just Ray and I for the funeral and burial they didnt want any kids there just adult family only. It was a nice simple service they did a masonic mass. He was a mason for 54 years. Grandma help up better than Ray's mom she had a complete brakedown. He was such it a good man it was hard not to loose it. Rays uncle actually had to walk Ray away from the grave when it was time to leave. He took it pretty hard they were so close.
Saturday we drove back down with the kids for a memorial mass. The church was completely full. It started with a few songs and poems that grandma had written. She wrote organ music for the church for years. then lots of people got up and spoke about grampa 4 different pasters he worked with over the years. Michael held up ok. he handed out the mass cards at the door and after a few songs he lost it. He was next to me and just started shaking and crying. He hopped down hugged Ray and said I want to go outside now. So his sister took him out she said he cried for a few more minutes saying why did both my grampas have to go to heaven couldnt god leave one of them here for me. it was really hard on him, they played out back on the swings until the mass was over with. Then we all went downstairs for snacks and to see all the people. The place was packed.
Then we went to see Rays dad he wasn't out fishing this weekend (he does commercial scallop fishing for weeks at a time) and said happy birthday to him.
We were surposed to go fishing with his friend Billy but he was tied up so we took the kids to Buttonwood park to see the animals and just relax for a little while thats where I took this picture of the kids.



Sunday morning Ray wanted to start fishing early and I mean early we were in the boat moving at 3am. Michael spent the night at my dads with his cousin Katy brought the kids to meet us at the doc around 8 and we started catching sand sharks like crazy, we even moved half a mile and still caught sand sharks. But know what the kids had fun and thats all that matters. our buddy Mark was with us thank god since we caught sharks ever line down and with both boys with us I didnt want to be the one taking them off the hooks.
We did catch a couple of Cod also but not big enough to keep. Oh I do need to tell you one thing we didnt get any fish to speak of before picking up the boys so going out that early was kinda a running joke I kept telling ray. So why is it that we got out of bed so early he just snickered.



So as you can tell I'm feeling a little better mentally, physically I still have a nasty rash and called to doc to see if I can get in and get it rechecked he said it was egsima on my hands and phoriasis on my head but now I have spots of raw on my legs and it itches like a bastard then bleeds. Last time the doc said that it was probably the Remicade reducing my immune system so its making the rash worse I dont know but I want it gone. I have another Remicade treatment on Wednesday and they give me steriods just before so maybe that will clear it up. We'll see. The remicade is helping my crohns so what is the lesser of the two evils rash or poops mmmm hard decision.
I'll try to be better now about posting I hope that all this crazyness has stopped for awhile and we can get back to normal.
See ya around soon.

unfinished objects

here are some photos of my unfinished objects. I was asked to show these off as part of Secret Pal 8. our hostess shelby is having a little contest for everyone showing off their projects
my first unfinished object and the newest one I've started is a sweater for Michael its hunter orange so he can wear it bird hunting with dad in October. I got this yard from my secret pal its the perfect color.

the next one is one of my oldest its a red lace sweater from sweater babe that someone on Knitty board help me to make a little larger for me. I was having a hard time with the lace pattern after I got the back all done and put it in the basket until I get ambitious.

these are the crochet seat pads I learned how to make at the Maine Fiber Frolic this year. I have one more to make for my moms birthday at the end of this month. They are made with strips of fabric and were really easy even for me. I am still confused about crocheting tho.

This is the first block for a sampler afghan for my mom this MIGHT get done for my moms next year birthday I did the square but it has a crochet edge and like I said I'm just learning how to crochet and the directions for this are really confusing to me I need to get someone to help me get started.

and last but not least this is what will be the most expensive sweater I have ever made for myself its 60/40 pure black wool and natural black alpaca. I bought the wool with the help of my friend Melodie at the fiber frolic the base cost was way more that I had with me. So she put up the cost for me and I bought it from her shop the Portland Fiber Gallery. Then I brought the fleece to my fried Lori's brand new fiber mill (Flaggy Meadow Fibers). Well Lori raises beautiful alpacas and she processed some alpaca with my wool and its absulutly fabulous. I had her spin it for me too just because I'm still a beginner spinner and this is three ply and very consistant I cant wait to knit it up its gonna be super warm for them chilly nights in Maine Next winter.

So that is my list of unfinished objects I have another post about whats been going on with me at home but this post seemed a little bit more cheery to do right this minute. I'll be back later today.