Crazy couple of months around here.

ok where to start the last couple of months have been hell for our family, we didnt get any deer, had an awful ice storm for starters then it all came to a head last week.

As most of you know Mike has ADHD and anxiety and has been on meds for well over a year. The start of the school year we had to switch Mikes meds he had outgrown the one he was on. Since then it has been trial and error and it sucked. He had also been on an anti depressant. While we were looking for a new adhd med the Dr. upped his anti. That was where the bad stuff started. The week after Thanksgiving we started on the new dose. A few days later he had a bad day getting in all sorts of trouble and it kept getting worse we started counceling at home for the family, he had a behavor specialist at school, peer groups going nothing was working and he starting saying things in class like "you all hate me I'm going to kill myself see how you like that" that alone concerned us but he was saying it alot so we assumed it was a cry for attention. But at the same time we removed all knives, guns and dangerous objects from out house Just in case. This was difficult for two hunters to do let me tell you. Then Mike told his councelor he had a plan for HOW he was going to do it. Now all the beacons went flashing BLINK BLINK BLINK. Ok we are still fine until last week. Thursday he ended up in the principals office for in school suspension. They had called for me to come and get him and I refused for two reasons first I had to work at 2 and second if I had went and got him he would be like ok if I get in enough trouble I get to go home and do what I want. Wrong I as not playing that game.

Then comes Friday I'm working a double Rays truck is in the shop for a blown thermostat and I get a call. Mike is in the hall at school and has tried to stick something in the light socket and was caught his answer "I dont care if I die." The principal and his/our counceler called and said we really need to get Mike evaluated by psych this isnt normal. I call Ray and we met at home. I think it was the hardest decision we have ever made as parents to bring your child to a crisis center. We picked him up at school and just told him we were bringing him to someone to talk to. The lady there promply said he need to be treated in house they could adjust his meds faster with 24/7 nurses watching him. It was snowing really bad out so we went home and waited for them to call and say the bed was ready for him. We told Mike and to be honest I dont think he really cared he was more like whatever.

We get there and spend hours signing him in. Even when we left after telling him they would help get his meds right he still wasnt that upset about staying I almost think he knew he needed help.

Over that weekend they didnt give him any meds Saturday he was mean nasty and rotten to everyone, Sunday he was better very teary and cried alot that we hated him. We tried to spend short visits with him I would go in the am on the way to work and Ray went in the afternoon for dinner.

Also over the weekend Mike got a room makeover, my stepdad had built Mike a loft bed so he could play under the bed a couple of years ago and we had planned on cutting it down lower so the dog could jump up with him. At the last minute my stepdad decided to just take the old bed down and buy him a new frame, meme said she would buy the mattress. So my mom and I went to "bob's" and got mike a captains bed with the drawers underneath and a bookcase headboard.

Sunday afternoon my truck started making noises I made it to work, the abs light had come on but we thought it was just snow in the brakes so I parked in the garage at work to dry it out. That night when I left it was still on and the noise was so bad I just crossed my fingers I would make it home.

Monday morning I dropped my truck off at the garage and begged everyone to borrow money to get it fixed I thought it was the transmission but it turned out to be the $450 dollar hub/bearings, the mechanic said I was lucky I made it there. Great huh.

Monday Mike met with the in house psycologist, then Ray and I met with him seperatly in the afternoon and we decided to try a mood stablizer drug starting that day.

OH my God what a difference. Tuesday morning Mike called all polite" what time are you coming mom." He was friendly and nice. When I got there the nurses said this is amazing he is great, polite, helpful, respectful things we hadnt heard said about him in months. We talked to the Dr again and begged for him to be able to come home for christmas and he said I dont see why not. Wednesday I worked days and my boss let me leave to pick him up he was so excited to come home, me too the boss said I didnt have to come back she covered the second shift for me. We went to church that night, Mike didnt make it through he fell asleep and promptly wet himself, I think its because he was so relaxed being home. Thursday we had the best Christmas morning every. Then I had to go to work and the boys went to my moms for dinner.

I got to spend today with him before work and its a different kid I'm still in shock. and love Mike even more now than I could have thought possible It was hard to be around him at all for awhile there.

I want to thank everyone that was thinking of us and praying for us through this difficult time. We still have a ways to go we are all trying and lots of things to work on but thank you for being my friends.

ok alot has been going on around here we had hunting season a trip to ny for a loom christmas visits to mass but the biggest thing has been Michaels metal health, he has adhd and depression/anxiety issues. Lately he has been doing alot of the I hate myself and I wish I was dead. That has escalated and the last few days he has had a plan on how he wants to die. He spent yesterday and today in detension he was uncontrollable at school. and tonight we are admitting him to spring harbor for a medical eval I dont think I'm going to survive this I just want my little boy to be happy he has been sad for soo long. and I hope he is home for christmas. I have to go I cant stop crying and I have to drive him there please pray for me if your pray ok.